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Interview with....
Elizabeth Lyon
by Dana Mitchells
Question: What made you decide to
write a book?
Lyon: I think some of us think long and some think short. Since my first
experiments with writing, in my twenties, I've always thought book-length. At
that time, I wrote a sci-fi novella, an instructional manual, a collection of my
poetry, and an outline for a feminist memoir similar to the "Vagina Monologues."
In my thirties, I wrote a nonfiction children's picture book four months after
the birth of my son Kris, in 1980; a biography of his midwife when he was one; a
first Y/A novel just prior to the birth of my second-born, my daughter Elaine,
in 1983. I went on to write portions of future novels, a literary fantasy
novella, a metaphysical book, and a few short stories and articles over the next
five years.
In 1988, I divorced. My children were seven and four. I cobbled together a
patchwork of income sources. I was a part-time continuing ed. instructor, a
critique group leader, an editor, a part-time women's group counselor and a
part-time astrologer. I also rented out the upstairs of my house to two
boarders. Even so, with some child support as well, I nearly always had too much
month at the end of the money. I wanted to stay working related to writing, so I
consciously decided to put aside my creative writing and focused on writing
instructional material. Teaching classes on writing and publishing showed me the
weak areas of how-to books on writing and selling. That, plus my editing work
with nonfiction book writers, led to my writing a proposal for a book about
writing proposals.
Q: What about getting it published?
Lyon: When I told an agent friend about my idea to write a book on
proposals, he told me I wasn't qualified. That rebuke stopped me for a year.
Later he told me he was intentionally trying to block me because a publisher had
suggested he write a book on the subject. That was a sobering introduction to
politics in this industry.
However, I wrote my proposal and submitted it to the National Writers
Association contest. When it won first place, my confidence was restored. I
queried a dozen publishers, but only St. Martin's took interest. Editor George
Witte pitched it to the editorial committee twice but the marketing folks shot
it down. I gave it to an agent friend to represent, and she tried unsuccessfully
to sell it. I decided that I didn't have enough clout--I was but a community
college writing teacher and freelance editor. I shelved the project and went on
to write another proposal for a memoir. My agent was not able to sell it,
either. Then, yet another agent friend, Denise Marcil, at the Pacific Northwest
Writers Conference of 1994, recommended the small press, Blue Heron Publishing.
I met with owner/editor Dennis Stovall at the conference and a few weeks later,
he called with the electrifying news that they wanted to publish my book.
Nonfiction Book Proposals Anybody Can Write came out in 1995, followed by
The
Sell Your Novel Tool Kit in 1997.
Q: Was it a challenge to write while caring for your children? If so, what
did you do to keep the peace?
Lyon: Writing--and earning a living--while caring for young children as a
single parent was the most difficult thing I've ever done. First, part of my
income--and a huge part of my social life--came from hosting three weekly
critique groups in my living room. My deal with my kids was that I would have no
more than two evening groups; the other group met on Monday afternoons. When my
daughter was young, she would often come home from school and snuggle under one
of my arms and listen to the writers in the Monday group.
My parents helped out evenings by coming over and being with the kids. When the
kids got older, they were fine being on their own. The house is in an L-shape,
so there are two wings with two living rooms, so the kids were comfortable in
the other living room, or in their rooms, while I led the groups.
Because I had joint custody, at three-week intervals, my writing typically
occurred when the kids were at their dad's. I made sure that I was a participant
in each of my three groups, so I had one reading of fifteen pages nearly every
week. With or without the kids at home, I made my deadlines.
Over the years, I did a huge amount of writing at a northern Oregon writer's
haven called Colonyhouse. Three times a year, I reserved the house for one week.
I went there with a group of writing friends and wrote to my heart's content. I
completed both of my first books for Blue Heron while I was at a week's retreat.
In fact, I remember writing 50,000 words of the
Tool Kit in one week.
Q: Did your children understand what you were doing as you worked?
Lyon: Yes, I believe they have both understood my work, my daughter more
so than my son, who is older but shyer and not interested in "book stuff." But
my daughter sat in on the critique groups, and I believe absorbed the process of
writing stories, listening to them being read, and offering opinions.
For about four years, my children attended after-school childcare for three or
four afternoons each week, a financial gift from my parents. We were most
fortunate that the childcare took the form of art lessons plus play. Their art
teacher told me one day that she witnessed what seemed to her to be an
extraordinary interchange between my son and daughter. She overheard them
offering caring, objective critique of each other's works. I believe they had
picked this up from overhearing the critique groups. At school, they were also
writing stories and experiencing the same process of rough draft followed by
feedback followed by final draft.
When we went on little trips or vacations, I always took us to a used bookstore
and allowed them to each buy a book for the trip. One year, we spent the
evenings in a motel reading aloud a special book. Although my son is not keen on
books, I've noticed that he kept that particular book and a dozen others from
his childhood.
Q: Because of your busy life both as a professional and a parent, what
writing schedule worked best for you?
Lyon: Throughout the years of raising the children, but even to this day,
my writing schedule is haphazard. I write to deadline. I write when I am not
editing, teaching, or traveling. That means catch as catch can. When I have a
piece due in a class or workshop, or when I have a book contract deadline, my
hours of writing increase to match the pressure. I wish I could claim I write
every day for four hours or that I aim for so many pages per day or week, but I
don't. As I get closer to a deadline, I will sometimes write six, eight, or more
hours per day. Or, I'll write six to eight hours during the day and then print
everything out and edit in the evening. I don't recommend this way of working
and I hope one day to change it.
My priority was always clear: kids first. For the most part, I was home when
they arrived home from school or childcare. I prepared healthy meals and took
them to music lessons, and encouraged them to enter their art in the county fair
(where they took blue ribbons). Neither of my children was a joiner of clubs or
athletics, which may have been a failing of joint custody—they were always on
the move, or a failure of my lack of involvement in these activities. However, I
accompanied my son's fifth grade class from his Spanish immersion program to
Costa Rica, and I went on field trips.
I realized that my own writing would be slow in development until they were on
their own.
Q: Was there anything you had to sacrifice in order to get your writing done?
Lyon: I haven't participated in a lot of social or community events or
recreation. I haven't attended a lot of literary events or author talks, if they
happened in the evenings. That time was devoted to my two critique groups or
promised to my kids. I've given up what other people view as "free time" or
"weekends."
Q: Looking back, what’s the one thing you know now that you wish you’d known
before?
Lyon: I wish I'd cut myself more slack and realized that I was doing a
Herculean task well. In hindsight, I wish I'd spent even more time with my kids,
even if that meant getting less writing and publishing accomplished.
Q: Did you at any time ask for help so you could get some writing done? If
so, do you regret it? If not, do you wish you had?
Lyon: When I remarried, I jumped from the pan into the fire; I married
another writer and a musician. Besides adding more kids, his two teenagers, to
daily life, I gained a spouse who needed his writing time. When I did ask for
extra help, generally in the two weeks before book publishing deadlines, our
patterns were too ingrained. Call me the caretaker who got stuck. I brought this
marriage to an end when my kids were 20 and 17, but still living at home. I
regret that I didn't get counseling help early on after the first divorce to
specifically address my needs to establish patterns that involved the family in
supporting me as a writer. I did seek counseling, but it was for the usual
emotional processing reasons and later for divorce counseling. I would recommend
that every parent who is a writer seek counseling, involving all related family
members, in understanding and providing support for the writer's needs.
Q: What surprised you the most as a parent while you were writing your books?
Lyon: As a parent, I've been surprised to discover what a natural editor
and talented writer my daughter is. I was surprised one Christmas when my son,
at about age twelve, gave me a booklet of his poetry—and I had no idea he was
writing it.
As they entered their teens, I've been surprised, when I am writing a book, by
their willingness to let me talk about a problem I'm wrestling with and their
suggestions for solving it. I've also been surprised by my son's fierce
protectiveness of me over getting good contract terms. In general, I've been
surprised at their willingness to share what they can of my career. For
instance, for one proposed book, I decided to create a prototype. I asked my
daughter if she would consider designing a book cover and some interior pages
using her artistic ability and a special computer graphics program. She did and
the publisher used her artistic ideas for their final design. When she was
sixteen, I hired her to design my author web site, and hired my then stepson to
handle the technical side of it. She did a beautiful job, and of course, her
brother acted as an artistic advisor.
Kris has a great sense of design and color, and he has advised me on book
covers, which I in turn have passed on to my publisher.
Q: Were you confident about your ability to write books while juggling
parenthood and work?
Lyon: For each book, I begin with confidence, and then the clock starts
ticking toward a deadline. I generally freak out and fear I won't be able to
make the deadline and all of my other obligations—as a parent, wage-earner, and
mentor to other writers. At some point, I stop wringing my hands and I engage in
the writing. Life becomes improvisation. Housework goes first. There will be
meals eaten out in the last week, children sent to the grocery store to do the
shopping, and we'll move into "emergency mode." I begin to assign meal prep to
the kids; they balk, I beg, and we get through it all. When I get an advance
check, we go out to dinner and celebrate.
I can't say I am ever confident that I can do it all. And, in fact, I have been
late delivering two books.
Q: How did you manage to juggle promoting your books with parenting?
Lyon: I tried to arrange most of my out-of-town promoting when the kids
could be at their dad's house. Over the years, joint custody, with a father who
lives nearby for them to attend the same school and after-school art lessons,
has been a saving grace for my travels.
My daughter loves travel, and she has accompanied me to book talks and signings
since she was about ten. At age eleven, I took her to a beauty pageant in L.A.,
after which we promoted my book at bookstores. When Elaine was sixteen and
beginning to search for colleges, I took her with me to a conference in British
Columbia. The conference director introduced her to two college students who
took her to visit area colleges. She also attended many of my workshops and
seemed to enjoy being "my helper." At age seventeen, she accompanied me to New
York where she critiqued my latest book proposal and shared my several meetings
with my agent. We stayed with an editing client and friend. Our return flight
left on 9-11, which led to shared memories to last a lifetime and a 2200-mile
drive to get home from Chicago, where our plane was grounded. With my
encouragement, she kept a journal of that trip.
Q: What did you learn about yourself as a parent while you were writing your
books?
Lyon: I learned that writing is like having a child, and that I love my
creations and am compelled to spend time with them and to nurture them. I
learned that I was a better parent when I allowed myself to write, when I had
satisfied that need. Although I felt guilty for time spent writing over spending
more time with my children, in retrospect, now that they are 20 and 23 and on
their own, I see how their lives were enhanced by having a mom who is a writer. I
used to think they were being deprived of a 100-percent mom, but now I see that
they got a 100-percent mom who writes. In other words, my being a writer gave
them something beyond the ordinary. It's a gift.
Q: What’s the best writing advice you’ve been given?
Lyon:
1. Never do anything for the money alone.
2. Give your internal editor/critic a sleeping pill until you finish the piece.
3. Write fast and finish.
4. Write many different kinds of writing to gain skill and experience.
5. If you don't make your goals with one kind of writing, change to another
kind.
6. Follow the example of the legions of writers who have gone before you, to
solve problems and stay motivated.
7. Writers write. They also have periods where they don't write. But they return
to writing.
Q: What’s the best advice you have for other writing parents?
Lyon: Include your children in the many facets of the writing life. Ask
their opinions. Share your joy of words and encourage them to share their
favorite words. Write stories together. Get refrigerator magnets for poetry.
Teach them how to do their own laundry and be self-entertaining; don't let them
rely on you to be their company and social director. Teach them to prepare meals
and clean house; it's good for them. Establish a pattern of respect of your time
spent writing and their time spent doing whatever they like to do alone. Read
books aloud for as long as they will let you. Be easy on yourself and know that
while you may reach your writing goals and dreams later in your life, it's okay.
As long as you keep a hand in, you'll be able to pick up your writing with more
time and energy as the kids become more independent. What everyone has always
said is true: They grow up so fast. Enjoy your children, but also let them enjoy
you as a writer. Give and take.

 
Dana Mitchells is the online pen name of the writer, poet and
book reviewer Dawn Colclasure. She’s been published both on- and offline, having
work appeared in magazines such as HiP and The Desert Woman, and Web sites such
as Griper, The Writer Within, e-fido, Writing Etc. and Just About Write. Her
latest article on Absolute Write can be found
here. Her book reviews have been published in Crescent Blues E’Magazine under her
real name. (Read
her latest review). Her Web site is http://dmcwriter.tripod.com/. She lives with her husband and
daughter in California, where she is currently rewriting one of her novels.
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